eEw Wa rêver

I should listen to my heart and my gut feelings as le le's mother, I know what I should do for him, but sometimes I got soften by negative comments. Yesterday nap time, I refused to feed him to test how long he can cried or he will learn that I wont feed and he will sleep. But he cried for 2 hours, now I know cry out method is not suitable for my baby, probably I'm using it as an excuse. I really can't bear to see him like that, and I feel so bad after I did that to him. Now I changed my bedtime routine from: Dinner > (dim light) warm shower > (dim light or sometimes lights off) milk > sleep to the following new routine started yesterday: Dinner > milk > (dim light) warm shower > (dim light) bedtime story > (dim light) milk with sitting position > light off > sleep Yesterday I went out the bed to off the light and he got panicked, today I should on the light by the bed side to reduce his insecure feeling. He did made some noise and 1-2...

Recently, my pediatrician told me that my baby at this age doesn't need any night feeding and should be able to sleep through the night. The common night weaning method is cry-out, but I don't wish to wear off his sense of security. Pediatrician said "You can't always give what your baby want isn't it?".  I can't, but I can't bear his crying can last for an hour, I didnt try more than an hour before, he is very persistent and determined to have me with him. I'm happy that he attached to me, as I understand that it only last for the first few years, after that he will have his own world, he will not attach to me so much. I really appreciate the time we have and treasure it. I believe every baby is different, friend's baby experience can't be mine. Based on an article, it stated that baby sleep through the night is a milestone too. This day will come eventually. I reminded myself I shall wait for the milestone, for the day to come.  ...

Omg! Can't imagine that is getting more and more tiring, after two weeks of trial period. Started my early rise than usual, which is sending baby to nanny much earlier than usual, is even more tiring as I prolonged my working hours now. And I think I became more efficient, work done mostly in the morning, after lunch usually I'm free, at the moment. Soon my phD labwork gonna start, hope that I can adapt to it well. Now the trial period is wearing me out, hopefully with the same working hours, by then I already get used to it.  Wanted to go for a massage but worry bout the timing, super tired, wanna get some sleeps. After a while, thinking probably getting a coffee to stay awake might be better. Do a little search on the effect of caffeine on breast milk, apparently only less than 1% go into my breast milk! I happily bought a regular cup of cappuccino (not black coffee as caffeine level is even higher) and a siew bao (a type of yummylicious chinese pastry) to pop myself in ...

I decided to start blogging this, as I know that it wasnt easy and I would like to keep a blog to keep me going. Hopefully by end of 3 years, when I review my blog and is worth it! Is been in my mind since last year January, after I gotta my Master degree, I will definitely wanna pursuit my phD. And I got pregnant soon after that. I decided to take a year break for pregnancy and continue after delivery this year January.  I'm now a full time working researcher in industrial and a full time mama for my 8 months old. Been struggling to attempt phD since early this year, at first couldn't find a right supervisor, and 2 months ago managed to hunt for one. Ideally is to use company project as phD and I have kill 2 birds with a same stone, unfortunately things are not always turn out as what you want. After talking to Prof Cheong, he agreed that taking a project from the supervisor is feasible, and i went ahead. Then, there are more, is not as simple as just a phD. The interview...